Betrayed

I knew she would believe me
and not you.
To save myself I did it.
So young to feel within me
that your skin would fail you-
but not fail me.

I liked you,
but I feared her more.
When you told her what I did,
she asked me
with that gleam of disbelief
in her eye.

I saw an opening,
and I took it,
but not without sorrow.

When I looked at you,
I could see your hurt
at me
at the way the world
heaped itself unfairly on your
shoulders
at your lost faith
in people

At six, I had done that.
Lied to save myself.
I wish you had understood,
and maybe you did.
Mary, I was wrong-forgive me.

cDeby White Jizi 2009